Are you happy?

One of my office mate asked that question. Knowing that she's kinda depressed and having financial difficulties that time, I answered her question without thinking much how I was really feeling. And I just wanted her to shut up so I could finish what I was doing.

"I must say I'm not happy nor sad." She asked why? I said, "I'm still fortunate compare to other people. I eat three times a day, some people only able to eat once, and some people are starving to death." So I asked her, "What do you think? Should I be sad?" She said I made sense, and tried to compliment me for enlightening her which I didn't care much since I just wanted to end the conversation and focus on work.

But that night, that question hunted me. I'm having financial difficulties as well, could not buy things I want to buy, I've been working for more than 3 years now but my cell phone is still that old unit that had retired a long time ago but out of necessity I forced it to still work for me, and yes I do envy those kids in school that does not have to work to get to school. I envy those lucky bastards who own N90, N95, i Phones, digicam, laptop. I envy those conio in those expensive and stylish outfit and having coffee at starbucks, coffee bean, etc. So basically, I'm sad. Who would not be?

The world is a sad place, the world is unfair. Many people strive strive and strive, yet they get nothing much, always less of what they should have earned. And the worst, there are people who are so lucky that gets it all even without effort. Injustice is everywhere, horrible things surround us. I guess this has been the situation since then that's why people are so get used to it, and even became numb of it.

But I am not. I know in myself I am not happy! Not in this kind of life, not in this kind of situation. I will devote myself to make things better. I know this is insane, but everything has been insane and everyone is insane to allow this insanity to continue to go on in our society. Yet I wish to be the most insane, for it takes insanity to drive people achieve their most insane undertakings...


(going insane... loaded up my m4a1 riffle and shoot myself... BANG!!!!!)

STAG PARTY

Last night, I went to my cousin's stag party. I've got to say that it was fun! We drank, we party, we watched strippers danced and stripped their clothes off all the way down to their thongs (wink wink wink). Taena, dapat pala di muna ako nagpaka lasing lasing hangat wala pa yung main event ng party. Yun tuloy, di ko masyadong naaninag ang magandang view at perfomance ng mga seksing stripper... ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

For what happened last night, I learned that:

• 1st of all, don't drink too much.

• the more the merrier is not that merrier during stag party, unless you have more stripper as well. What happened was, we were too many yet we only had 2 strippers. At the same time, we had too much alcohol already by the time the they arrived, of course the strippers felt uncomfortable.

• do not invite your asshole friend, he'll just be himself, an asshole, which might ruin your party. In our case last night, he drove away the strippers. Tsk tsk tsk, he's such an ass!

• as much as possible, kontian mo lang ang invited, set up everything in your place, the sound, the alcohol, the food. Then bring 2 or 3 good looking friends with you to a bar, go fishing for hot party girls. Invite them to continue the party at your place (wink wink wink).

So let be this a lesson for all of you fellow Stallions. Kung lam nyong may ganitong event ang stag party nyo, don't drink too much until the main event is done, otherwise magsisisi kayo. Hehehe.

(sakit pa rin ng ulo...argghh!!!)

Tradegy

She had to leave her town, with mind set to find a job here in Manila. She did not mind what kind of job she might land in to, any job would do, as long as it is legal and would be able to send money to her family in the province, and spare some for her college degree. Her greatest dream? To be an alumni of La Salle.

When I first heard of her story, I was struck with admiration. Judging from what I had heard about her so far, I was so sure that she was capable of achieving her dream.

She worked as an all around helper, (katulong). She was 17 when she got here, and for a year had been sending all her earnings to her family. Then the following year, she spared half of her earnings for her schooling.

The sad part of her story started when she made this move. The family had been used to getting all her earnings and she suddenly cut it in half, they complained. It really made her sad. Then a tragedy fell upon her. Her father past away. She wanted to come home and attend to her father's funeral and her family and relatives expected she would do so. But considering the expense of coming home and the money they needed for her father's funeral, she decided not to come home. Instead, she just sent all her savings so as her father would have a decent burial. The family and relatives took it against her. They resented her.

Day after day, she cried. She was so hurt by how things turned out. She tried to reason out why she could not come home, but all she got from them were resentments. Until she could not take it anymore. She had decided to end it all.

I never had the chance to meet the girl. I just heard about her from my boss and knew her better from her suicide letter. It was a three pages letter of her bitterness, struggle and courage, written in English... It was really a heart breaking letter...

I keep wondering what she could have become, had she been able to finish school. What would have happened had her family been more understanding and supported her. Or what if she has been fortunate enough that she could pursue her dreams without having to work? I'm never gonna find out...